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“Two men enter. One man leave.” That’s the principle here behind The Arena. Because we at Chaser know that after women and wine, there’s nothing. So we whittle our time away with bullshit conjecture about ridiculous hypotheticals. We take two things, pit them against each other in The Arena, poll our staff and see who comes out on top. Then you tell us how fucking stupid we are. Begin.
Morgan | Being able to count ex-KGB amongst its roster, the Russians have the clear advantage here. However, when heavily favored, Russians have shown the propensity to choke like cheap sperm guzzling whores. For evidence I cite the Crimean War, the Russo-Japanese war and the 1980 Winter Olympics. Still, they are tall and the Japanese are short. Japs also watch tentacle rape, which is extremely wack. The decision is obvious.
Choice: RUSSIAN MAFIA
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Jonathan | One word: Ninjas. I don't care how many Russians there are, how many AK's they have, or how strong their women are. The only reason that Russians win anything is because they retreat up North until their enemies get hungry/cold, decide that war's not all it's cracked up to be, and leave. Then they re-claim their land. Ninjas don't eat. They don't sleep. They just kill shit. Russians are no exception. Russians have those cool looking fluffy hats, I'll give 'em that, but Ninjas have their own masks....and I'm sorry, but masks > those fluffy hats any day.
Choice: YAKUZA
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Courtney | My vote goes to the Yakuza. My people know how to kick ass, simple as that. The Yakuza trace their beginnings way back to the 17th century. They cover themselves in ornate tattoos and will cut off their own pinky fingers to appease their bosses. That is hands down badass. When it comes to bringing skills to the table in a battle, I think the Yakuza have the advantages which are: martial arts, ninja throwing stars, and an archaic sense of honor and loyalty.
Choice: YAKUZA
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Tim | The question is a difficult one to answer, as both parties rule their respective regions. The real question would be whether or not the Yakuza could kick ass in Uzbekistan, and if the Russian Mob could kick ass in Japan. Personally, I think the Russian Mob has their hand in almost every region, as where the Yakuza are predominantly in Asia. That being said, I take the Russian Mob, just because they have cool cars.
Choice: RUSSIAN MAFIA
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Alec | The government funded arms race of the Cold War created a huge surplus of deadly weapons and espionage equipment. Since its collapse, the former specially-trained KGB agents went to where their skills best served them, the Russian Mafia. The weapons went to those who could steal them or afford them, again largely the Russian Mafia. The Russian Mafia is the real deal. They don't need to slap stickers on their cars, get "scary" tattoos or talk a lot of shit. They just kill you, your pets, and your family and friends if you cross them. It's very simple and efficient.
Choice: RUSSIAN MAFIA
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Chris | As an organization the Yakuza are better positioned for any kind of large scale operation due to their ethics and the fact that they've been around longer. I'd have to say that the Yakuza lean more towards being bullies with the Russians are more transactional especially in the environments they operate in. Different tactics would be employed by both if they went at each other. Russians would rely on brute force tactics whereas the Yakuza would be more low key, ninja like even! The Yakuza could financially oust the Russians while their peons lined up in ascending order to take Russian bullets. Either way, who the hell wants a piece of Lower Elbonia anyways? Let the pigs have it.
Choice: YAKUZA
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James | The Russian Mafia would win, based purely on the fact that they are willing to work with anyone, and do whatever it takes, in order to achieve victory. If you're in the mafia business, why would one let things such as honor and morals get in the way? The Ruskies play dirty... I love that.
Choice: RUSSIAN MAFIA
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Russian Mafia 4; Yakuza 3 |
