Originally developed as a war game, buzkashi was once played with knives and whips similar to a cat-o'-nine-tails. One was allowed to both flog and stab other players and their horses in order to obtain the prized carcass, and it was not uncommon for participants to be killed in the game. Sadly, both of these implements were given up over time, and though players have given up their cats-o'-nine-tails for kinder, traditional whips, there are still many other elements of violence to enjoy. Players still are often trampled under the horses, it's not unusual to break a limb in a game, and the best riders often are patched up and ride back into the fray. In addition, sometimes the playing field is placed along or through a river, that riders might drown their opponents. There are even elements of crowd participation as excited horsemen often trample through the spectators in order to escape the pack. Needless to say, because of the nature of the sport, women have generally never been allowed to watch buzkashi.

What does a player receive for all this effort? Tournaments are often sponsored by large companies in order to bring publicity. Prizes for buzkashi often consist of jewelry, gold, cash, expensive clothing, and rifles. Great chavandozlar are revered throughout the land. These guys are living the Afghan lifestyle befitting of a gangsta rapper: riding around in their expensive turbans, sucking down bottles of Moët, flaunting their Rolexes, and packing heat. In addition the best of these riders are generally over the age of forty, and have been training for many years.

Buzkashi is the toughest sport known to modern man. Regrettably, with the arrival of the Taliban, it seems to be going the way of chess, alcohol, and women's education in favor of studying the Koran. The stadium that holds a ten day buzkashi festival each October in Ghazni, Afghanistan is now used for executions. Nevertheless, Afghan refugees are actively making buzkashi an export commodity which is becoming wildly popular in neighboring Pakistan; still, I'm waiting for Vince McMahon to catch wind of this phenomena, as I guarantee with a few cheerleaders that it would be much more entertaining than the XFL.

Related on the Web:

You can go to Pakistan and sponsor a game of buzkashi for 60 to 70 thousand United States dollars cash (about $6 trillion Canadian). Here's a small photo gallery of men playing buzkashi in Pakistan.

Find out more about Henry Rollins, or read this interview with Hank and Ice-T to find out more about the Battle Cage. Henry Rollins is much harder than you, and if anything confirms it, it's this rant.

Find out all you could ever want to know about the Mad Max Trilogy here.

For those of you interested in limp-wristed, equestrian broomball, you can check out the United States Polo Association. For the sake of representing of my own school, here are the pansy-assed pony-curlers of the Ohio State Intercollegiate Polo Team. If, on the other hand, you're into casual clothes with style check out Polo by Ralph Lauren. Finally, if you really want to take up polo, then perhaps you should check out Bike Polo.

Though buzkashi may be the toughest sport known to modern man, it's not quite as impressive as the ancient games played by the Mayans at the Great Ball Courts in Chichén Itzá, where the losing captain or team was sacrificed. Still, arguably the toughest sport of all, especially for those of you who have seen Ben-Hur, was the chariot racing performed in the Circus Maximus, which had its own incidents of execution.

Speaking of executions in Afghanistan, a lot of people have been complaining about the World Bank-funded soccer stadium in Kabul being used for executions. The Taliban response is simple: they would gladly use the soccer stadium for soccer if the international community would kindly fund an execution stadium. I can't argue with that. For a description of soccer stadium executions, check here, and to read about public amputations, complete with pictures of a boy holding severed hands, check here. For accounts by Afghan women against the Taliban, check the Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan (WARNING: Gory Photographs).