Nobody is completely satisfied with his or her appearance. We all want to change something. For many of us, that means losing weight and getting in shape. But what happens when you weigh so much that it just seems hopeless? If you weigh 200 lbs, maybe you want to lose 10 or 20, and it seems difficult. If you weigh 300 lbs, maybe you feel like you have a chance.

But what if you weighed close to 500 lbs? What if you had been overweight your whole life? What if you just accepted the fact that you would always be obese and unhealthy? What if you accepted the fact that you would die at a young age? What if you finally decided it was enough and you wanted to have a normal life? How would you start? What would you do?

This is the story of one man and his struggle to lead a long and healthy life. Ralph Cerminara one of my best friends and has finally begun to see what a valuable person he really is. This is Ralphy’s story…

Chaser: Let’s get right to it. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh?

Ralph: At my highest, my weight was 469lbs.

Chaser: What do you currently weigh and what is your goal weight?

Ralph: I currently fluctuate between 223-230lbs. It depends on the day, I guess. I would love to get to 200lbs one day. I know once I have some plastic surgery to remove the excess skin, I will be in that 200lb range. Once I can save enough money up, that's my next step.

Chaser: Were you always overweight?

Ralph: Yes, I was always overweight from as far as I can remember. Growing up, I was nicknamed "Fatty" in my neighborhood, but that got dropped after I kicked a few asses, ha ha. I was always active, participating in Judo and playing various sports, but my eating habits were insane. I always ate very high carb/high fat foods, and ate at all hours of the day and night. I probably ate 5 or 6 FULL meals during the day, then I would bowl at night, then at Midnight, I would eat a 4 course breakfast. Real healthy stuff!

Chaser: When did you realize there was a problem with your weight?

Ralph: I always knew I had a problem, but I ignored it. It was sad because my family was concerned and they in NO WAY were part of the problem. I would sneak food whenever I was out of the house. The satisfaction of going to a buffet would outweigh all the health risks that I knew were piling up. So, I would get down, and eat more. As "Fat Bastard" said in Austin Powers....it was a vicious cycle. Everybody laughed during that scene, but even though it was a joke, that was the truth!

Chaser: Were there any major health issues that went along with being that heavy?

Ralph: As I got older, my knees and ankles would kill me if I did any type of sport activity. I would play Jai Alai (it's a game similar to racquetball) and the next day I couldn't walk. My ankles would crack, and everything hurt. Those were the least of my problems. I was at serious risk for Diabetes. At least half of my close relatives are Diabetic, and with my weight...it was just a ticking time-bomb. Also, my cholesterol and triglycerides were off the charts. My blood pressure was high, I had sleep apnea. I was a wreck. There was a point in my life that I thought I wouldn't see the age of 30.

Chaser: Was there anything in particular that drove you to lose the weight?

Ralph: There were two major factors. My uncle Louie died of a heart attack at the age of 51. He was slightly overweight and diabetic and one day, the light just went off. He died in the shower of a massive heart attack. When he died, I felt that I was next. The second determining factor was....girls. Anybody who doesn't tell you that getting laid is a serious reason for losing weight is full of shit! I was sick of being the shoulder to cry on. I wanted to be the reason the hottie went to her fat friend to cry!

Chaser: How did you start losing weight? What was your plan?

Ralph: Well, I often feel like I cheated. I had Gastric Bypass Surgery on Aug 30, 2002. I felt it took me 27 years to gain the weight and this was the only way I could lose it. For the first 2 years, I felt embarrassed to tell people how I lost the weight. Even though I lost a massive amount in such a short time, I felt that I was a failure because I had to resort to surgery to lose it. However, as the years have passed, I've kept it off unlike many others that have had the surgery. I have maintained my low weight within 10lbs now for 3.5 years. I was the first of many of my friends to do the surgery. Most of the people that had the surgery after me have gained between 50-80lbs back. I can't for the life of me figure out why you would allow yourself to go through a surgery to only put the weight back on.

Chaser: Tell me a little more about the surgery. How soon did you begin losing weight?

Ralph: When I had the surgery, open Roux-n-y was the common practice. This is where they cut you wide open. Now a days, they tend to do it laproscopically. I remember being in some severe pain for a few weeks. However, I did fight myself to start walking as much as I could. No more than a month after my surgery, I was at the gym lifting light weights (hence my hernia...I pushed it). I was dropping an inch a week from my waist for the first 6 months. It was insane. I had resorted to buying the cheapest clothes I could because it was getting way too expensive. In a matter of 11 months, I had lost all the weight.

Now personally, I think the surgery I had where they cut me open had a psychological effect on my actions post op. Nearly everybody else I know had it done laproscopically, and they seem to gain weight back. I know as far as I am concerned, anytime I had any urges to eat, I remembered the pain from the surgery.

Chaser: How has your life changed since losing the weight?

Ralph: You'd be amazed at the little things that you tend to enjoy. Yeah, getting girls is the biggest change. Having them notice me is great. But, I love being able to shop for clothes at the mall rather than having to go to your local fat man store. Also, I would always go on vacation when I was fat and I would have to ask for a seatbelt extension on the plane, then I could barely squeeze my fat ass into the seat. Now, I can sit perfectly comfy on a plane...hell, last time I was on a plane, I had my legs crossed!

Chaser: Are there currently any health issues remaining?

Ralph: Well, because of my surgery, I developed an incisional hernia in my abdomen. Unfortunately, it prevents me from lifting weights, but other than that; none, zero, zilch. Once I get the hernia fixed in the spring, you can bet I'll be hitting the gym to get some muscle mass! The only other thing is you can't overeat or you will throw up. I'm glad to say, I've NEVER thrown up from overeating. It's a common thing with people who have had the same surgery as me. I think the fear of throwing up is a BIG motivator! Also, I can't have an overabundance of sugar. You tend to get what's called "dumping". You will get cold sweats, nausea, and diarrhea. I don't really enjoy any of those things, so I've basically cut sugar out of my diet all together.

Chaser: Do you ever miss being that big? Were there any advantages?

Ralph: I don't think you could EVER miss being that big. However, there are times when people go out to eat and I really would love to dig into everything on the table. But after coming so far, you realize it's simply not worth it. Yes, I miss being intimidating at such a large size, but I'd rather be the lover, not the fighter.

Chaser: Are you ever afraid that you might gain back all the weight? How do you cope with those fears?

Ralph: Every morning that I wake up, I'm afraid. I will sometimes have dreams that I woke up fat. I think the fear of gaining weight is the reason I've kept it off. Never again do I want to walk in a room and have everybody looking at me whispering about how fat I am. People don't realize that I’ve heard all of those things: "Oh my God, he's so fat!", "What a slob, how disgusting!" and "How did he let himself get like that?" That's motivation enough to stay how I am right now.

Chaser: How do you eat on a normal day? What does your diet consist of?

Ralph: Now, I try to eat 5 - 6 smaller high protein meals a day with vegetables. It could be chicken, a protein bar, eggs, anything that is low in empty carbs. If I do eat carbs, I tend to eat them early in the day before noon. If I do, I'll eat some oatmeal for breakfast. A normal day goes something like this:

    Breakfast: Eggs with turkey bacon, or Oatmeal
    Snack: Protein bar or a small bag of Almonds
    Lunch: A salad of some sort. I usually have a Chicken Caesar Salad
    or a normal salad with Turkey and Ham.
    Snack: Another Protein bar, or the remainder of my lunch.
    Dinner: A protein (i.e. fish, chicken, steak) with a veggie and salad

Chaser: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Ralph: Unfortunately, I still tend to see the fat guy. I guess being fat for 27 years will do that. Your body will lose weight faster than your mind. I've heard stories from people that it took a good 5-10 years to finally realize that they weren't fat anymore. At my largest, I was a size 66 pants, now I'm a 36. Sometimes I will pull my pants out of my closet and say "no way will they fit"...and they won't because they are loose! Sometimes I feel I look tremendous, sometimes, not so much!

Chaser: Do you have any advice to offer people who are struggling to lose weight?

Ralph: Surgery isn't for everybody. You really have to be mentally ready for it. If you only have a small amount to lose, try to incorporate more meals, but smaller portions. Try to stay active any way you can. Whether it's walking your dog, bowling, or just cleaning the house at a vigorous pace! Nobody said exercising has to be at the gym. When I walk at work, I walk at a double speed. I try my best to do everything possible to get my heart rate up.

Chaser: Is there anything else you’d like to say?

Ralph: If you are overweight and are wondering what it would be like to be thinner, don't "wonder"....DO! Nothing is preventing you from taking the necessary steps in life to improve yourself. For some people, it might mean you should go to a local "chain" diet group. For others, it might be just changing your diet a bit. For some extreme cases, surgery might be your only option. Either way, there are people that care about you that will help you during your lifestyle change. If they aren't going to help you, then they aren't your friends.

Chaser: Is there anyone you would like to acknowledge?

Ralph: I'd like to thank Dr. Valin for basically saving my life. I firmly believe that if I didn't get the surgery, I would have been dead by 30. I'd like to thank my family and friends for being there throughout the entire process. They were my friends when I was fat, and are there for me now. I love them all. I'd like to thank you for letting me tell my story. It means a lot to me to do this.

And finally, I have to thank my Uncle Louie. Unfortunately, it took his passing to open my eyes about my weight issue. He was always the nicest, kindest, and most generous person I had ever met. When he passed away, he had never been married and had no kids. I was so terrified that I would be next and just like him, never married and no kids. I saw the pain that my family endured and I didn't want them to go through that with me. His passing turned out to be my blessing. I'll always love you Zizi Louie...thank you for being around for 24 of my years on earth, you'll be in my heart for the rest of my life.