It seems that when it comes to men, there is perhaps a 10 year or so period in which one has to grab hold and not let go of a viable specimen. Yes, men have a shelf life! You see, whether you realize it or not, we women are on to the fact that a pony too young finds us with the emotional maturity we left behind in grade school, while a mule too old finds us running to the store when the Viagra runs low. There is a new trend (or perhaps, newly publicized trend) that has piqued my interest as of late. As someone who has always had trouble finding compatibility in the arms of a junior in age, I am quite enamored by the new art of tadpoling.

I understand that love comes in many shapes and sizes, but when it comes to fishing in the sea for one of those sprightly amphibian babies, I’ll be the first to submit my application to Novice-R-Us. What’s tadpoling you ask? It’s none other than the art of younger male seduction that Mrs. Robinson seemed to hold a masters degree in. Coined only recently by Miramax executives with the release of the new Sigourney Weaver flick Tadpole, this term refers to the pairing of older women to younger men. Yes, it does happen! In fact, Miramax went so far as to put together an internet poll to gain knowledge in the area, and found that one in five men, and one in 10 women, admit to succumbing to the lure of the tadpole at one time or another.

So why is this type of situation finally breaking free of the societal finger pointing and agape stares that once assailed a pairing of this nature? Media coverage perhaps! Over recent years, and most recently with the tabloid coverage of a possible pairing between Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake, fishing for a young male tad, especially if he holds a multi-platinum recording contract, seems to be quite the okay thing to do.

This doesn’t however mean that if you find yourself in a relationship of this type you won’t face scrutiny and stereotypical questions that may give you cause to second guess your choice. Don’t relationships like this end when the male decides to trade in the haggard horse for the youthful pony anyway? Aren’t men in it for the sort of sex that only comes when led by the hand of a more experienced partner?

From a feminist standpoint, I have to wonder why it is that when older men land younger women it’s due to the fact that she is either seeking stability or money, while an older women must SEDUCE in order to win a younger man? Just the sort of sticky muck to make a WoMan grit her teeth and dig a little. We all know that when I hit 38 or so, I’m going to be itching for a long list of reasons as to why some young bucking bronco should choose me over some buxom twenty-something (forgetting for now that she is me) year old.

The Sex Thing

I can’t help but see visions of Tom Cruise in his sunglasses and white dork-o-rama old man undies as I begin this paragraph. Ah, must focus! No thoughts of Mr. Cruise must cloud my vision. So, the sex thing, is it? Yes, a woman who hits say 35 or so is definitely in her prime. She knows what she’s got and she definitely knows how to use it. No need to worry should you feel a little insecure in the boudoir either. The Grande Dame will surely have no trouble in taking the controlling reigns. Yes, here’s the catch! You must have no qualms with letting the woman lead in this type of pairing.

Your Friends and Family Will Say…

Well, there are three things you’ll inevitably be asked when you break the news that there’s a 12 year or so age gap between yourself and the adorably crow eyed beauty standing next to you. “Are you mad?” will probably come up first and foremost. They’ll definitely call it a passing phase; finding your smitten doe eyed glaze a little cute (wait, guys don’t use the word cute, do they?). Well, they’ll find it endearing, or whatever word the machismo factor allows for cuteness, for the time being, knowing all the while “this too will pass”. Secondly, they’ll ask you about the sex. “Ah, you must have a roaring time in the sack?” they’ll say. “What do 36-year-old jugulars feel like?” they’ll question? Oh, and then there’s the third question. Actually, this won’t even come as a question, more like one of those Nostradomian fair warnings, and will most likely come from your mother. “You’re just her little toy, you know that? You’ll be read and discarded like yesterday’s paper”.

Thankfully last weeks release of the film Tadpole, along with various weekly tadpolian variety sexual stints glorified through Sex in the City, show that we’ve come a little further in popular ‘myth’ culture from the days of The Graduate. We all recall that the reluctant young stud who was seduced into taking up with Oldie Locks eventually turns to more prime pastures in 80’s cinema. Going back to the above ‘Friends and Family Will Say…’ spiel, one person in the older woman younger man party will eventually tire of the other. These days Sex in the City’s Samantha beams with confidence, knowing that age is never a factor. As for Sigourney Weaver in Tadpole, well, let’s just say one viewing of the film and you yourself may start searching the 35 and up category of your local personal ads.

The Rugrat Factor

She will either have them, want them, or need them in many tadpolian scenarios -- kids that is! In a tadpole pairing, the younger male should be very much prepared for the fact that procreation is imminent. Take into account the fact that her clock is probably ticking at a steadfast pace and therefore she's very hungry to take on the parental role. Her previous forays with older gents might have left her in want for offsring, as her man had either grown comfortable in his selfish bachelorhood status or already had 5 or 6 from the 2 or 3 relationships previous to her. So yes, if you've still got your sights set on the older woman, make sure you have a very frank discourse on the status of that clock of hers, or you had better find a mate whose clock isn't wound yet.

So what about the myths? Susan Winter, co-author of the book “Older Women, Younger Men”, took survey of 200 males and females who admitted to throwing the line into tadpole infested waters and came back with these startling truths. Suggestio falsi (falsehoods) number one, two, and three:

#1 It’s simply a passing phase, and come Christmas, he’ll be stuffing the stocking of a much younger ducky.
Most couples interviewed by Winter still hadn’t passed through the phase after 13 to 16 years together.

#2 Sex is the glue that binds them together.
You have to know that after 13 to 16 years, there are some other plus side incidentals holding the twosome together.

#3 He’ll be chewing on greener grass in no time flat.
In the scenarios Winter explored, she found that “a guy who’s with an older woman has made a statement: He doesn’t care about age. So he’s not going to trade you in.”