He rides up on his Harley in a black leather jacket and beckons me with the blaring honk of his horn. Did I mention he just narrowly escaped hitting the cat and has parked his beloved bike on my newly planted rose bushes? It's no matter, because he's hot! He's aloof, he's jaded, and he's mine. Well he's mine at least for the next couple of hours before he heads off for his 9PM date with my now ex-best friend Suzy. Sure I just spent 2 hours crying over him on your shoulder. Who are you? Well of course, you're the consummate guy pal. The one who'd never do me wrong. You're always there to lend a hand, or a tissue, and in the back of your mind, you wonder, "What in the hell does she see in this scum bag idiot on wheels? What does he have that I don't?"

Here lies a case of the female bad boy chaser! Think Grease (as in the movie). Think Rebel Without a Cause. We know they're not good for us, they'll love us and leave us, use us and abuse us, tease us and traumatize us…but we fall for them anyway. Perhaps it's the excitement of it all that appeals to us. Maybe we have psychological problems. Okay, so YOU know we have psychological problems. We must, because why in the world would we keep running after the unattainable? Why do we lose our hearts to the man who is bound to leave us weary eyed, hands and knees on the floor, begging for him not to leave us for the busty waitress at Hooters? Okay, let me attempt to explain.

The Bad Boy

You know him, heck, you may even be him. He's the one that won't commit. The super stud who doesn't care if he acts like a dog in heat anytime a sexy chick crosses his path. Why of course he's going to hoot and howl. He's even going to slip her his number while his date runs to the restroom. He doesn't show up for dinner with her parents because he carelessly forgot, or even better, he ran into some buddies who reminded him of that important football game that just happened to be today. He drives too fast, never pays, doesn't invite his date back to his place (there's too much evidence there of past night trysts), he forgets her birthday, and cuts off the little old lady driving behind him, but not without flipping her off. Strange that his date could find him so damn fascinating, but she does.

Look at Me I'm Sandra Dee…Falling for the Rebel Without a Clue

So why do we fall for the rebel without a clue, the bad boy braggadocio, the lothario who's bound to break our heart into a million pieces? The number one reason lies entirely in the fact that we can't have him. He's a mystery, this unattainable beast that we hope will succumb to us and change his ways. We want to tame him, more importantly, we want everyone to know that we had it within our power to do so. Yes, it's ridiculous, but our heads are so clouded by the odious intermingling of cheap cologne, cigarette smoke, hair gel, and motorcycle exhaust fumes, that we pay no heed.

There's also the plaid skirt wearing, knee sock strutting, school girl in us all who secretly desires to be the "bad" girl. We know that the bad boy is unsafe territory. Our mothers always warned us about them, but we have this uncontrollable urge to find out for ourselves. To prove to ourselves and everyone else that we aren't the good girls you all think we are. It's forbidden, therefore we have to try it, just once. I know, it's never just once!

There is another type of girl who falls for the bad guy, and this type is unfortunately the most common. This girl has low self-confidence, lacks an independent nature, and the bad boy picks up on her right away. She's willing to do anything and everything for him and expects nothing in return. He makes her feel sexy, wanted, alive, and the envy of every person who doesn't know what a jerk she's found herself. Hell, she looks cool riding on the back of his Harley! Never mind that he doesn't offer her a helmet and then high tails it trying to catch up with the convertible full of blonde bombshells that passes them on the freeway.

What's a Trusty Guy Pal to do?

I know, whatever is the consummate guy pal to do? Are you to simply stand by and watch her demise? Do you keep consoling her? Do you start your martial arts training so you can karate chop the heck out of him the next time he makes her cry? Do you check her into the cuckoo's nest? Actually, that last one might not be such a bad idea, but first let me pose two helpful offerings:

1. She'll grow out of it! For a lot of us, this bad boy chase only lasts so long. Soon we grow tired of all the running and get it into our heads that these guys aren't worth it. Believe me, most of us need only survive so many heartbreaks before we learn our lesson. Why not give your friend some time to get through her phase. You can only preach about the mindlessness of it all for so long. Unfortunately we have to endure those scrapes and bruises ourselves to truly learn that it's only the nice guys that are worth having.


2. We are not all bad boy lovers! Contrary to popular belief, it's only a small fragment of the female population that actually goes for these guys. Some of us may fantasize about them, but we're far too wise to actually start the chase. When you think about it, it's the girls truly worth having that wouldn't give these idiots a second glance. We know we're much better than that, deserve something more, and we're far too intelligent to fall victim to playing the boy toy….well at least to not playing it when it isn't to the advantage of the both of us.

Unfortunately it's a vicious circle when the chase involves a bad boy, good girl, and her trusty guy pal taking his position as the tear soaked shouldered caboose. I know it's easier said than done, but don't waste your time on the female bad boy chasers. Look at it this way, if you move on, she'll either realize what a good thing she had and start chasing you instead, or even better, you may just run into a great girl who truly appreciates all your nice guy qualities. Besides, who wants a girl who smells like cheap cologne and exhaust fumes? Wait, don't answer that!