What do women really want and who am I to be suggesting it? I admit, I stand one woman in a sea of millions with ideas on this subject. Yes, I've had my share of dating experience and the woes that come along with it, but still, how does one person script a vade mecum outlining just what those alien inhabitants of the planet "Woman" are looking for when it comes to men?

Yes, women are confusing creatures. We change our minds often and we neglect to keep you up to speed. Erica Jung wrote "Men and women, women and men. It will never work!" I'm not so sure I'm altogether ready to throw in the towel, to chalk us up as supremely different creatures and give up on men completely. Perhaps it's all in how we play the game, and maybe it would be a little bit easier should we all just learn to communicate openly about our wants. So as to not play the lone professor spewing philosophical wisdom in a class titled Women 101, I decided to take it to the street for answers. O.k., so I took it to a room full of 18-35 year old women and let them throw answers at me. Whatever else would a lone professor do?

What's Up Doc?

Asking questions seems simple enough, doesn't it? As women we seem to have a much easier time with this theory. We are inquisitive creatures by nature, but for men, this seems to be foreign territory. Think about it, how in the world will you ever get to know us if you don't ask questions? The bottom line here is that we want you to ask us about our wants. I see you rolling your eyes at the horror of it all. "But she'll want to discuss the relationship", you say. Well of course she will, but if you're in it, shouldn't you care enough to at least find out what she wants out of it? I will preface this comment by saying that this communication thing is a two way street. She should be asking you about your wants as well, but that lecture is titled Men 101, isn't it? So ask her what she's into, in ALL respects. You may be surprised at the little gems of wisdom that surface from just a few small inquiries. Your quiet little mouse may be a sexpot in the making.

You've Just Entered the Anti-Ogle Zone, No Drooling Allowed!

You know you do it! In fact, we may do it too. But by all means, don't get caught. Better yet, save the salivating stares for times when your partner or the woman you're vying for is not present. What's the big deal? As women, at least while in your presence, we want to be the center of attention. We want to know that you only have eyes for us. In other words, you better as hell not have eyes for anyone else. How do you prove this when your eyes are continually scanning the room for the next hot bod to walk through the door? I know what you're thinking. "But I'm just a people watcher. I look at everyone." Believe me, we see right through the "people watcher" mantra. The only thing that makes our radar detection is your sudden whiplash of a head turn toward the leggy blonde in the micro mini and halter-top. I don't suppose your people watching skills picked up on the balding 50-year-old Bill Gates look-a-like sitting at the next table, did they?

Spill Your Guts!

This has to be the number one response to my "What Do Women Really Want?" questioning. What is the big deal about opening up to your partner? It's assumed that if you are in a relationship, there should be a certain level of trust built up between the two of you. Two big risks here! Number one is the fear that you'll be deemed a milksop, some whimpering pansy completely devoid of the machismo factor. Number two is the risk that opening up and revealing your true emotions ups the ante, making you more vulnerable to being hurt. As for the machismo, to tell you the truth, most women loathe it more oft than not. As for the risk you'll be taking, I admit it's scary, but it is the only way a woman will feel you trust her, and we all want to feel that you trust us enough to reveal yourselves. I'm not saying that you have to spill your emotional guts from the get go, but to establish a connection with the female species, it's essential that you become willing to spill a little from the onset. In other words, you're unlikely to lure her into your lair o' love until you've learned to utter a few words of woe about your tortured soul and the way she'll help to salvage it.

Say "Bless You!"

I recently had a male friend tell me that his girlfriend was upset when she didn't receive a "Bless You!" after she sneezed. The problem, he hadn't heard her sneeze. Let's not get too nit picky here. Delving a little deeper, we want to know that when you're sitting next to us, you're aware of our presence. When we say something, you should be ready to respond or acknowledge us. When we ask you a question, you should be able to answer without muttering a "Huh?" as if we've just woken you out of a dazed slumber, or worse, a distracted ogling fest over the busty bombshell crossing our path.

Enemy at the Gate (a.k.a. Commitmentphobes)

Yes, we want commitment and more oft than not, you don't know what's wrong with the relationship as it stands. Why mess up a good thing, right? Wrong! Unless you have an agreement that you're relationship is open, most women want some sort of acknowledgement that they're the only one for you. I'm not saying you have to propose, unless of course you're hitting the 5 year mark, but by all means, formally acknowledge that you only want a relationship with her and are no longer interested in playing the field. If this sounds tortuous to you and you haven't already voiced that opinion to your female more-than-friend, I'd stop reading here right here and engage your gal in a little tête à tête regarding your relationship. If she can't accept your commitmentphobe ways, save her the heartache, and find someone who can.

Attempting to keep from completely overwhelming you in the wanton ways of the fascinating inhabitants of Womanville, I'll leave you with a few last words of wisdom. As women, our wants are pretty simple. Essentially, we want everything! Your saving grace here lies in the fact that we are creatures who truly appreciate effort, and mastering any one of the 5 "wants" above will surely get your gal to at least contemplate taking the plunge into your arms, or even your bed, if you're really lucky!