Harlequin romance novels often center around a single and lonely, yet devastatingly gorgeous, woman traveling alone on a ship, train or horse-drawn carriage destined for some exotic locale. Inevitably, on her adventure she encounters an equally devastatingly handsome man who sweeps her off her feet. The tired plot may be predictable, but there's no question why these steamy morsels of fiction sell like hotcakes: everyone loves romance, adventure, and sex... what more can you ask for from a vacation?

Please Don't Tell My Parents

It seems that from the time of my very first kiss, I was destined to find love and romance away from home. I was 13 years old, had never been kissed, and on a trip to Europe sponsored by my junior high school. Two high school teachers chaperoned about a dozen kids in seven different countries over the course of two weeks. Needless to say, the ratio of chaperone to student allowed us to break away and get up to all kinds of trouble. We were sharing a tour bus with some giggly 17-year-old southern belles from Charlotte, NC. One night in Florence, Italy, they decided to get gussied up and check out the local discotheque and we managed to tag along. A couple of hours later, I found myself tipsy with my very first Screwdriver (OJ and Vodka - I wasn't helping out Bob Villa) in hand watching a bunch of tourists jump up and down to Springsteen's "Born in the USA" (hey, it was 1985, ok?). Learning how to drink his first beer and trying to act nonchalant, my classmate Brian had been staring at me for probably 15 minutes working up the nerve to kiss me. When he did finally manage to pin me against the wall and lay his lips on mine, I was both surprised and embarrassed as I kissed him back. It felt strange, exciting, and incredibly romantic, experiencing my first kiss in Italy. By the next day, Brian ended up puking, while I ended up turning down his romantic advances, crushing his hungover 13-year-old heart. Apparently, the romantic aspect of my first kiss taking place while I was away from home in such a beautiful locale deeply affected me. Little did I know that it would inspire a pattern of escapades well into my adult years.

Flash forward a few years and it's back on the road as a recent high school graduate and backpacking Western Europe with my best friend Erika. Along the way, I met Karl from Florida who said, "I've never touched Asian hair before" (worst line ever), and Chris from England who had such a thick cockney accent I couldn't understand a word he was saying but damn, he was cute. In college, I would visit friends at other schools and meet boys at their parties, which sometimes resulted in angst-ridden long-distance relationships. Granted, they had a short shelf-life, but they were amazing while they lasted.

Looking back on my previous adventures, I've had romantic encounters in other countries as well as states across our fair nation including New Mexico, New York, Texas, and Louisiana. However, it has been two years since I've had a date or relationship worth writing about here in my home town, or even my home state. It has given me cause to worry. Am I destined to only fall for people who live at least one time zone away?

Let's Break It Down

I sat down and tried to figure out why it seems that men fall at my feet when I am in a strange and unfamiliar city, yet seem to not notice when I am walking down the sidewalk minutes from my own apartment. I live in San Francisco, known for its thriving gay community but come on... that can't be the only reason why I can't seem to get a date locally. So if it isn't the city, then it has to be me. Perhaps when I am traveling, I am more open to meeting new people, more confident, less stressed, and more apt to take risks. Maybe I have a special vacation aura about me, something more confident and free about my general posture. Also, it may be that I appear more confident when meeting new people and having romantic encounters knowing that I won't stay in town long enough to get hurt. What I do know is that these flings fall into my lap and whether or not I am somehow subconsciously instigating them, I definitely enjoy them. Along these lines I came up with a Pro and Con list to the Vacation Fling:

Now, as you can see, the last item in the list can cause a bit of complication.

Uh-Oh.

You're walking hand in hand with the woman of your dreams, or at least the woman of your dreams for the past 36 hours, and as you gaze into her eyes you realize, "Uh-oh. I actually like this girl." This is where things can get a tad sticky. My advice to all of you travelers out there is to keep your head together and don't get too attached. Of course, this could turn into something uber-romantic and special, one of you will eventually move cross-country to be with the other and your friends will claim that it is a sure sign of serendipity. But, on the other hand, it could all end tomorrow when you step onto that plane destined for home and out of her sight forever. Yes, home. Lest we forget, you must return to your life, your job, and the pile of dirty clothes on the floor of your apartment. Anytime you find yourself in a vacation fling that develops quickly and intensely in a short matter of time, you must remind yourself that the pain of leaving it all behind is the risk you take. The pleasure of the ultimate whirlwind romance is often followed by the pain of having to see it end. Worst case scenario, you risk giving your heart to someone and although it was only intended to be temporary, you find that you'd actually like them to keep it for a while. As this fact slowly sinks into your brain, cue the romantic goodbye scene at the airport, complete with tearful promises to stay in touch.

Now What?

Part of you wants to just stay on vacation forever, traveling the world, falling in love, and keeping a girl in every port. The other part of you realizes that you still have responsibilities such as paying your rent, going back to the job you hate, and cooking for one. Common sense wins the debate, so back to the routine you go -- leaving your adventures and your vacation-girlfriend behind.

Do you attempt to stay in touch and see each other again? Keep in mind that if you both actually lived in the same town, your lifestyles may not click. The situation would be different, for instance you'd actually have to arrange your schedules around each other rather than lounging around everyday. Rather than walking hand in hand through Central Park, you'll be arguing about whose turn it is to return the DVD's to the video store. Long-distance relationships are also incredibly difficult to maintain. Usually the couples that are able to make this work already have a good foundation in place before they've been forced to split up geographically. Four days in Cancun does not exactly provide an adequate foundation for a serious relationship.

However, you don't have to shut the door on this romantic prospect entirely. If there was chemistry there, if you found yourself effortlessly falling for this person, and if you formed a solid friendship during your time together, you may want to stay in touch after all. Using the phone, email, internet chatting, and frequent flier miles, you can maintain a casual relationship or friendship with someone without imposing an early commitment for either one of you. While both of you are still single and interested you can arrange to meet again and rekindle that spark, that special something you experienced together on your trip. Maybe you can meet in Paris for a romantic summer rendezvous, spend Christmas together in New York, or toast each other on New Year's Eve in Rio.