It began as a conversation between my girlfriend Amy and I. Soon an additional two people had chimed in with their thoughts – our witty friend Julia, and the ever Foo-ish Chris-the-Webmonkey. In the end, we all reached the exact same conclusion. It was a first for us, and will likely be the last.

Of course, it was no ordinary topic. It is the fundamental difference between men and women. Peace and war. Life and death.

Women are absolutely bent on having it both ways. Sexual thoughts aside, this is more with reference to where to eat, what movie to see, how to get there, where to sit, how to sit, so on and so forth. Not only is her decision the right one, but yours is so far from being correct that it makes her's doubly good. "Both ways" for all intents and purposes can be viewed as the little lady getting her way, while, at the same time, you certainly not getting yours.

Opera's lacky southern side-kick, Dr. Phil, likes to constantly remind everyone that a relationship is built on compromise. He is correct, but only if you are one of the lucky ones. A perfect example is as follows:

• It's Sunday, you want to catch the Rams taking on the 49ers while she wants to – selfishly, I might add -- see her parents for the first time in months.
• You being the wise Joe you are, know that the Rams will likely have crushed the boys in red and gold by the time the half hits. This leads you to the lightbulb illuminating thought of compromise.
• You present to her, in a nice smooth voice after you've cleaned your face with your sleeve, the solution of waiting an hour and a half before leaving. You get to see the Rams smoke ass, and she gets to remember what her folks look like before they kick the bucket. Sounds good all around, correct?

Certainly not. This course of action is guaranteed to fail unless you have an exceptionally great or horribly passive girlfriend. In either case, count your lucky stars and hold on to them with a firm (but gentle) grip-- you will be told with a vicious stare, straight into your eyes, that not only are you going to spend the entire day at her parents' house, but you are to leave now so you may not even catch a glimpse of the opening kickoff. This is what women consider a victory and achieving their objective "both ways."

Fighting this ultimately leads to bruises and/or the loss of sexual relations for an extended period, and is precisely why the uncaring and ever non-attentive father is a staple in North American media. Man, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that not caring is the best solution next to not thinking. Unfortunately, we cannot appreciate all aspects of sport whilst in a vegetative state. Thereby leaving many a men sitting partially comatose on the couch with ears and eyes trained to the television.

This set of circumstances may be leading the male species into permanent basement/entertainment room seclusion, but it does maintain the illusion of women getting to do everything their way. Well, they perhaps are, though only by default. All the while sexual relations are maintained at the desired rate as long as semblances of sincere compliments flow from ones mouth to the lady's ears early in the morning and after trips to the hair stylist.

Having it both ways is something women want, something they inevitably get, and not least of which, something they need. If you don't have the patience to find a perfect girl, or to tune out what is being yelled at you over football, get a nice pair of fluffy earmuffs.