Spooning and cocooning

"Many couples simply find the Spoon a comforting, safe cocoon," explains Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist. Hectic schedules often prevent couples from spending enough time with one another. Spooning together before falling asleep or in the morning before getting out of bed allows you to share precious quality time being affectionate and close. It is a tender and intimate way of expressing love and affection without sex.

How long do I have to hold her?

Don’t think of it as a painful obligation with a time requirement. You both should be physically and emotionally comfortable with the idea of cuddling together. If you are in a sexual relationship and you aren’t at ease with holding this woman in your arms, perhaps you should reconsider whether you should be sleeping with her at all. If you truly are attracted to this woman, you will naturally want to be as close to her as possible. Stay in the position for as long as both of you are comfortable. That can be anything from 15 minutes to 8 hours. It is normal to turn and change positions and perhaps do the reverse, with the woman holding the man. If you are sharing your bed with someone every night, after a while you will form your own sleeping and cuddling patterns. If the classic spooning position doesn’t work well for you, you might try some well-known variations.

Head on shoulder

Man lays on his back, woman rests her head on his shoulder or chest. In this position, the man can put his arm around her shoulders hugging him to her. Several men I know tell me they like this position because of the feeling of affection they sense from a woman laying against them in this way.

The Accidental Touch

Your bodies are separate from each other on either sides of the bed but at least one body part is touching the other. Perhaps her foot is leaning against his leg, or his hand is leaning against her arm. The point is to let your partner know that you are comfortable sleeping with them and still want to be close even if you sleep better 2 feet away with your legs sprawled out like a little kid.

Back to Back Butt Touch

Both parties are sleeping facing away from each other in a fetal position so that their butts are touching. An ideal position for those couples that prefer to sleep on their sides but need some space in order to sleep well. Like the Accidental Touch position, this allows a couple to maintain physical contact while sleeping independently.

Whatever position you choose, I hope that you will master the Art of Spooning.

Courtney Young is a master and teacher of Spooning and is currently taking applications for aspiring and enthusiastic tall male students with big hands. Morning people need not apply.