 Anyone that has used the Internet for more than 10 minutes has seen the list. It's racist, sexist, disgusting, and utterly hilarious. The Big Book of (Generally Tasteless) Sex Positions is an online phenomenon that has ushered into the mainstream such new phrases as The Dirty Sanchez or Teabagging. This list is Internet lore, and here are some of our new contributions to it.
Disclaimer: This is all done for purely comedic sake. DO NOT ATTEMPT.
The Harpooned Whale
With the girl laying with her back on the bed, you straddle her head and neck to receive oral pleasure. Just as you finish in her mouth you take a concealed, oversized dildo and shove it into her anus. The result will be her launching the liquid out of her 'blow hole' in similar fashion to that of a harpooned whale.
Additional points for her increased likeness to an actual sea creature.
The Ricky Ricardo
A girl is double, triple, or even quadruple teamed in either her vagina or anus. Once all involved are done and removed, they call out in unison "Ohhhhh loooooosey!"
Alphabet Soup
The girl sucks you off to completion in her mouth. Before swallowing (spitting never allowed), you damand she recite the alphabet out loud as if back in kindergarden. The Eiffel Tower
You and a buddy double-bag a hot chick. One guy is hittin backshot; the other guy's got mouth. While in the act, you high-five, creating an image not unlike the eiffel tower. The Hailstorm
The next time you're doing it with an ugly woman, put a paper bag over her head in spite of her reluctant cries. Just tell her you've always wanted to do it. After she agrees and the act is well underway, pull out and ejaculate on the paper bag, creating a sound like a tarp in a hailstorm. Some Old-school Staff Favorites:The Houdini
Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.
The Flying Camel
As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.
The Screwnicorn
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn. |
