For whatever reason, you find yourself using public transportation for the first time in a long time. Not since the early days of high school have you made the long climb up the stairs, dropped in your fare and purposely sat far away from the old man with his dick hanging out of his pants.

The city bus isn't all bad mind you. If your lucky, in addition to the seventeen-year-old mothers with crying babies, aging sexual deviants and drunken guys who look and smell the part, the bus is sometimes loaded with hot chicks. And even if it isn't loaded with them, chances are pretty good your going to run into one hot chick on her way to her job at the sunglass hut downtown. She is at the back in the window seat, and you've got to have her.

Hook

Getting the phone number of a girl on the bus is not a suitable task for the weak and inexperienced. This is a highly tactical, highly technical ploy. The skills required in order to achieve at this seemingly insurmountable of tasks are found only in the most seasoned of veterans, so if you are still uncomfortable and unsure of yourself, you should probably go back and re-read some older installments of digits. For those of you with more confidence, more experience and a more properly refined technique, please read on.

There are numerous factors working for and against you in your quest to score the bus babe's number. First of all, you do not have much time. It was by random chance that you two even ended up on the same bus to begin with, so don't expect fate to work in your favor more then once. You have only one shot at this, and you cannot blow it. The second thing working against you is time. She could be getting off at the next stop for all you know, so you must move quickly. In addition to that small fact, your stop may be coming up sooner then you think. So plan on missing your stop, and taking a bus back to where you were originally intending on going. Getting a hot girls number is more important then being on time for well, anything, so ignore your stop and be prepared to spend a couple extra dollars in bus fare.

There are only two things working for you. The two of you have something in common in that your both sharing the uncomfortable and awkward experience that is public transportation. And secondly, there are so many losers on any given bus at any given time, that its relatively easy to stand out in this crowd.

Also, make absolutely certain that you've made and held eye contact with her. If you fail to do this, you are throwing darts in a locked closet.

All that said, this may be one of the only times where it is okay to be 'obvious guy', but don't just walk onto the bus and plop down beside her. Your best bet is to sit directly across from her if the seating arrangement allows for it. If not, sit in front of her (should your approach be a successful one, she shouldn't have to turn to talk to you, you are the one doing the work here remember?) or on a bench on the opposite side of the bus. If you can't sit near her right away, don't sweat it, as soon as a seat near her becomes available you'll be getting up and moving there. Remember, you are short on time; there is no room for subtlety.

Line

Be direct.

We've gone over this. You don't have a lot of time. There is no room for error. There is no opportunity for delay. You are in position, go for the kill. The eye contact has been made, so now you have to say something to her. Anything. It is initially going to be awkward; this is unfamiliar territory for both of you. Try this:

"Hey how is it going?" It can't be simple enough. She'll either ignore you or answer you. Can't ask for better results then that.

You can also try:

"Wow, that drunk guy at the front of the bus is really butchering 'My Sharona' eh?" Nice move slick. Now you are friendly, forward, and funny.

If either of these quips generates even the tiniest of responses that doesn't hint at her next move being a desperate cry for help, you are golden. You have to build her enthusiasm towards you, and you have to do so quickly. That is why in this unique situation you aren't looking for a sure thing, only a glimmer of hope. Each time you open your mouth to speak to her, you are trying to force escalated responses. Let her know where you are going:

"You know, all I want to do is get downtown to work and not one time can I get on this bus without running into some drunken loser like that." Say it somewhat sarcastically, no one likes a complainer. The hope here is that she will ask you where you work, which then affords you the luxury of asking her the very same question. Conversation will roll at this point. If she doesn't ask you where you work, say this:

"Do you find that you have the same problem?" If she doesn't offer up a complaint about the other low-life types on the bus, you should lay off them too. This indicates that she isn't impressed by your opinion(s) of them.

Now that you two are getting more comfortable with one another, its time to start asking more personal questions.

"Do you go to school? Which school and how do you like it?"

or

"How do you like your job?"

or

"Do you shave your twat?" (okay maybe not)

This is where it gets tricky. It makes no difference what you ask her, as long as you get her to reveal personal details about herself. You see, you are not actually trying to find out more about her, none of that matters right now. Once again, you are just trying to make her as comfortable with you as possible, which brings you to your closer.

Sinker

You are three blocks from her stop. Your back is to the wall. And still you have no phone number. When you go for broke, make sure you remain casual and somewhat disinterested. She knows what you are up to at this point, and being too anxious will make you appear childish and give her every reason in the world to shoot you down.

"I enjoyed talking with you, let's go for a coffee some time so we can talk again."

Keep in mind that because of the high degree of difficulty involved here, the failure rate for this particular ploy is significantly higher then in digits past. Be prepared for her to reject you. The flowing conversation the two of you just shared may have been just that and nothing more to her.

But because you are so skillful, so well prepared and so technically proficient, you will probably not be rejected. So after you've secured her number, make sure to wait longer then you normally would to call her, but not too long. She just got picked up on a bus, and she is going to have second thoughts about what just happened. Call too soon and she'll think you’re a desperate loser. Wait too long to call, and you've negated your efforts, because she thinks you aren't interested enough.

Now you have only one thing left to do.

Get on another bus going in the other direction, and head back towards your original destination. Give yourself a great big pat on the back. There are very few men that can do what you just did, and you should take great satisfaction in knowing that.