Maybe it's the way her ass looks while she's on the stair climber. Or maybe its that gleam in her eye when she asks you to spot her in the squat rack. Whatever it is, she is rock solid, and primed for action: she is the fitness bunny at your local gym. And you've got to have her.

Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends. Welcome back... to Digits.

Hook

Lace face it, your local gym is an intimidating environment to be in. Everyone is so beautiful it hurts. Tanned hardbodies flow like cherry wine. Muscles are more prevelant then pedophiles at a birthday clown convention, and the levels of sexual tension are immeasureable. It doesn't help that you are built like a garden rake.

All those negatives aside, you have a job to do. You must coerce (okay, trick) the fitness bunny into giving you her number, and in order to do so, you must make yourself stand out in a very competitive crowd. No problem.

There are two issues you'll confront on your mission. The first, as I've already touched on, is the errr... stiff competition. But what you don't realize is that the competition is a lot less prevalent then you think -- most of the guys in the gym are overly obnoxious assholes, with not much going for them other than their muscles. The fitness bunny sees right through this. Your challenge is to keep a level head, and realize that she is a very friendly and upbeat bunny, and the only reason she talks to so many of these guys is that they approach her, and she is just being nice. Appropriately, the bunny and the musclehead share a similar love for fitness, and that is enough to keep a harmless conversation flowing. Plus, keep in mind that she is probably wired out on caffeine and ephedrine, so she is a little bubbly and off the wall. She can and will talk to anyone.

Which brings us to the second obstacle/problem. You need to create an image of you in her mind that is going to pique her curiosity on a level that no one else in that gym has been able to approach. In order to do that you are going to have to plant seeds. Where am I going with this? Listen: you obviously want to find a common ground with the fitness bunny, and that, of course, will be your similar love of health and fitness. You must, however, and I repeat must allow her to see that you are not only about your body and appearance, you must demonstrate that you have others things going for you.

So now that you know your angle, when do you approach the bunny? There is only one time to approach her, and that is during one of the transitional phases of her workout. Don't bother her between sets and don't stand near her while she's stretching -- try to catch her near a fountain or vending machine. Never interrupt her while she is doing cardio. Never. Cardio is like church to the fitness bunny.

Line

In this situation, you will not be offering up a line so much as you will be going through a series of steps. Again, the game is to set yourself apart from the rest of the Jabronies in the weight room, and using these lines (or something remarkably similar) in the correct order is essential. The steps are divided into three phases:

• Set up/Introduction
• Gathering of Intelligence
• Flirtation/Suggestiveness

Now please also note that all of the lines, in one way or the other, can be related back to health and fitness -- if not directly, then they will later be tied back in with health and fitness. Remember, we are picking up a Fitness Bunny, not just some chick at the gym. Girls that just go to the gym to work out do not want to be picked up. They go there to look good so that they can be picked up elsewhere. The gym is pretty much the Fitness Bunny’s life, so it stands to reason that you would enter her life at the gym.

So you approach bunny at the fountain. Where did she come from? Which machine was she just using?

“Do you have many sets left on the preacher curl bench?”

Watch your tone, the above is politely worded as opposed to:

“Are you done on the preacher bench yet?”
or
“Be sure to wipe your slug trail off the preacher bench when you finally finish.”

Your line will generate either a yes or no response, which is good. You can run with either, but in different ways. If she says yes she has some sets left, you will ask her if you can work in with her (kill the erection-inducing visuals when saying that though). Most Bunnies should be respectful of other gym members and their needs, so she should be more than happy to oblige. This opens up a prime opportunity for chit-chat bullshit (keep it health/fitness related).

If, however, she states that she is in fact done with the apparatus, pay very close attention to the way she says it. If her 'no' is short and straight, she knows you are on the make, and you must retreat for at least a week. More likely she’ll be bubbly and warm when answering (“Nope! All done with that hun!”) and therefore your window is still open, as she is not on to you. Yet.

It's really only important to squeeze this one line in during the setup/introduction phase. Some of the smoother Rush lethario's will attempt to push the envelope further, but really, completion of phase 1 is more than an adequate day's work. Phase 1 is complete only after you’ve flashed her a warm and friendly smile when finished sharing the equipment with Bunny, or finding out from her that she's all done.

Before we move onto phase 2, a couple of recommendations are in order. First off, I would allow approximately 1 week between phase 1 and phase 2. Not to say you will completely ignore the Bunny, but a simple hello and a smile when you see her will suffice, and keep her guessing what your intentions are. This allows Bunny space to think about how comfortable she feels with you, which in actuality is your subtle way of prepping her for phase 2, the gathering of intelligence.

We need to know more about the Bunny to keep this going, and the best way to gather info from her is to compliment her:

“You really know your stuff in here. How long have you been at this?”

Fantastic line, very open ended, numerous avenues can be taken. It will hopefully lead to her asking you a similar question in return.

“It's hard to imagine someone with such poor form managing to make themselves look so good. Are you on steroids?”

This is what you do not want to say. Don’t be rude, don’t come across as a know-it-all and do not under any circumstances fail to compliment Fitness Bunny. She needs to be reminded of how good she looks.

Let’s look at our next option from two different angles:

“You have great definition in your arms and shoulders. Mind offering me some tips?”

You are a guy. You should know about working out. I don’t care if it’s the year 2002 or not, don’t ask Bunny for advice. As much as she’ll love giving you help, she won’t love dating you, because the guy she is after knows his own way around the weights, and doesn’t need any coaching from a girl.

“You have great definition in your arms and shoulders. This has been a real problem area for my sister/mother/daughter, and I’d love to help her out. Mind sharing a few tips?”

Booyaa! Now look at what you’ve done. You have managed to flatter her, show respect for her and her opinion (hey, you want her help, don’t you?), avoided making yourself seem unknowledgeable (your asking for help for a girl, from a girl, which makes perfect sense) and shown that you are a caring and considerate person. You have now successfully opened up your first real conversation with Bunny, so let it flow Romeo, and gather some intelligence!

Sinker

Hopefully you’ve made it this far. See, getting Bunny’s digits is not for the impatient, and when done properly can take weeks. Well, weeks have passed since you met her at the fountain. Conversations have flowed, smiles and laughs have been shared, and incidentally, your sister's arms look great! (I should know, I nailed her last night.)

You are chatting up Bunny everywhere. Including the reception desk, the aerobics room, at the drinking fountain and the showers (okay, maybe not the showers). You get the point, but haven’t got the digits.

Shall we close this deal?

On to the all important phase 3, suggestiveness and heavy flirtation. What exactly is meant by suggestiveness? Suggest perhaps, you two interact outside the friendly (yet, mildly barbaric) confines of the gym.

“Looks like you had an awesome workout today. How about carrying it over to my place, where we can do some oral labia crunches?”

Don’t say this to Bunny, she will punch you. She should punch you. Dickhead. Try one of these:

“Have you ever eaten at that new health food restaurant? We should go sometime!”
or
“Ever been indoor wall climbing? I hear it's an awesome adrenaline fix!”
or
“Do you own rollerblades? We should hit the beach together sometime!”

But not this:

“Do you like oiled up Equestrian Jockey porno?”

Each and every one of the lines you can feed her related back to health and fitness, which is the common bond you two have created. It is up to you to find other similarities outside of fitness, but don’t explore that avenue until you get Bunny outside of the gym.

Play your cards right, and not only will you have Bunny’s digits, but you’ll be on her ass like spandex in no time!