Digits: Bookstore Clerk

Sure most large bookstores attempt to offer more entertainment value then the Javelin event at the special Olympics, but for the most part they suck. From the fat chicks wearing bandana's and horn-rimmed glasses to the abundance of tree hugging guys in khaki shorts and brown leather sandals, there aren't a whole lot of reasons to visit a bookstore regularly, other then the books. But if there is one thing present in each and every one of these stores, its the quiet hot chick working part time, and you've got to have her.

Hook

A bookstore is always full of friendly employees more then willing to assist you and share some friendly words. This is not a good thing. All this means is that during the course of the day, the target of your affection is sharing witty banter with 10 or 15 guys as good looking as you, and unless you look like one of our resident playboy's, you need to find an edge.

What you'll have to do is find a section of books that is going to make you seem interesting to her. A cyclical funds index book is not going to work. Try browsing through the film section and find a book about writing screen plays. Now choose one of these books and remember the title. Make up some hokey screen play idea and go find the girl you are after. Ask her to help you find the book and mention to her that you need it because you are writing a movie. If she inquires further, and seems interested in 'what you do' you may have a shot with her. You've shown her that you are creative and intelligent (a writer with an original idea) and she has taken an interest in what you do and why you are doing it.

Line

You can not and will not give the bookstore clerk an opening line. She'll laugh you off, and you will leave the book store a humbled man. Your move in this situation must be incredibly shrewd, and quite honestly, it is not at all easy. You must be sneaky, so that she cannot see your play coming. After getting her to help you find your book, you must ask her interesting questions to get her to talk to you. We will continue with the screen play example:

"Do you do any writing?"

or

"Are you a fan of movies?"

Although the first question may seem like a shot in the dark, it actually is far from it. Expect a response from this one, as women that work in bookstores are often smart and creative. Should she answer this with a yes and an explanation, ask her what she does to cure writers block. This could lead to an honest and friendly discussion, and set you up to ask her for coffee or some such. The second question will generate one of two responses. Either she'll answer yes and tell you what kind of movies she likes and why, or simply give a one word answer and make you go fishing for more of a response. Either way it can lead to a drawn out conversation, which is what you want. The whole goal here is to keep her attention on you and away from the other customers.

Should she not give in-depth answers to either of these questions (but still seems remotely interested in you) you must then make your next move. You need to show her that you have interest in her:

"What does interest you?" is a great way to let he know that you are interested in her.

"I bet you'd like to come over into the erotica section with me and watch me play with myself" is a great way to get her to kick you in the balls.

You must carefully examine how she reacts to your questions to determine exactly when you will make your next move. If she is answering in detail, laughing, smiling, sharing personal tidbits, this is a good thing. If she is asking you questions in return, this is a very good thing. The more personal the questions the better.

Sinker

After talking with her for some time, you must get bold. Your conversation has carried on in a positive manner, and a certain level of interest has been clearly established. With the knowledge that she is interested in you (if it isn't obvious whether she is or not to this point, retrace your steps and re-establish your stance) it is time for you to make your move. A simple clincher would sound something like this:

"I've really enjoyed talking to you but I don't want to hold you up any longer and get you in trouble. Would you like to continue this some other time, say, while having a coffee?"

Simple, to the point, and non-threatening. She already feels somewhat comfortable with you (hey, she just risked getting in trouble by talking to you for 15 minutes didn't she?) and by introducing a relaxed social setting she knows you are to be trusted.