Oops, did I just say that?

As I watch the destruction of the independent side of many of my closest amigos, and become witness to the rebirth of a new, boring, and unforgivably feminine version of my long time buddies, I find it increasingly easier to relish in my own solitude. Many of you know of and possibly have been in this scenario before; its Sunday afternoon and you and a few buddies are chilling out watching some football. For some idiotic reason, one of your friends deemed it necessary to not only bring his girlfriend, but to also mercilessly exchange baby talk in full view of everybody else in the room. In case you haven’t experienced such atrocity as this let me tell you, there is nothing worse than having the entire 3rd quarter of the Bears game be drowned in an ocean of indecipherable phrases and syllables. At the peak of one’s testosterone levels for the week, to have the undeniable stench of estrogen flow throughout the room is as anticlimactic an experience as the loss of one’s virginity to a herpes-ridden lady of the night.

Ok, there you are sitting at the campus bar, doing your thing on all the ladies. You have all those generic "get a date or your money back" magazine one liners down cold. Getting the conversation going has never been tough for you. Face it, you're a sly guy ... you know it, we know it, the honey's know it. Problem is, unless the chick practically invites you into her bed, or throws a drink in your face, you can never really tell if she is interested or not. It just so happens that Rush has the answers about chicks, to the questions that you were too afraid to ask.

1. Touchy Feely

This one anyone should know, she starts leaning on you, or putting her hand on your knee. Expert's claim that for women, body language rather than conversation is used over 66% of the time to attract a male. So instead of staring at her jahoobies like a complete ass, you may want to pay attention to where she is directing her hands or feet. These signals can be as simple as a brush against your shoulder, ever so slightly brushing her hand against yours, or much more dramatic and obvious. Say, snuggling up against you, putting her head on your shoulder ... dare we go as far as having her put her hand on your thigh! It's all so dramatic and exciting, isn't it? Basically, if there is a sudden increase in contact between the two of you, initiated by her, it's a safe bet that she is interested. This does however mean that you will have to stop staring at her breasts for a moderate amount of time ... sorry.

While standing in line at the supermarket the other day I overheard the following:

"...I hear that these are really high in potassium."

"Uh-huh."

"My friend, he's a physical therapist right, and he says that I should limit my sodium intake and increase potassium intake."