One summer, many moons ago, an executive at Fox said, "Why don't we do an all new episode summer season of Beverly Hills 90210 and see if the ratings will improve?" And the rest is history. Trying out new series during the summer when all the regular shows are on hiatus wasn't a new idea even then, but Fox proved it could be a ratings bonanza. This summer there are plenty of new shows from which to choose, if you don't want to watch reruns of Friends (especially since funnier episodes of it are already in syndication). Some of this summer's crop are returning series while some are new (well, the titles of the shows are new - sort of). Here's a rundown of what's what so you can decide what nights to stay home and what nights you'll find more excitement at the Public Library.
Cupid - CBS
Okay, I have to give you a link for this one. The Cupid girl, Lisa and her two friends Kimberly and Laura are scouring the country for the man of Lisa's dreams. You have to apply to see if you get chosen to make the cut. You'll have 30 seconds to make an impression. Here's the link: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/cupid.
Of all people, Simon Cowell (American Idol) is bringing Cupid to you. I just had to mention that.
Amazing Race - CBS
Of all the summer shows, this is the best one that most people aren't watching. It has a natural element of drama and suspense because it's a race. How interesting the show is also depends on the cast, but the show is unpredictable by nature. It's great entertainment as well as an interesting travelogue. I hope that this show stays around for a while, even though it's been hinted that this might be its last season.
Dog Eat Dog - NBC
This game show (it's not a reality program - there's a difference) showcases beautiful people with buff bods, puts them in swimsuits and gets them wet. All the while illustrating how stupid they all are by asking them very simple questions that most only know half the answers to. Need I say more? This show rocks!
For Love or Money - NBC
It's kind of like The Bachelor meets Joe Millionaire, only in reverse and meaner. This time, the woman that the guy chooses wins a million dollars - and the guy doesn't know that when he's making his decision! (That's supposed to be dramatic. I figured that part out because of the way the announcer read it over the promo spot. Now, if the announcer actually loops over every female voice in the competition as well as the voice of the guy supposedly looking for love, the show has .0026% chance of being interesting.) I don't have a problem with a show being mean and tacky, but c'mon, can't it be original and clever?
Fame - NBC
Where do I start with this one? I won't comment on the obvious American Idol wannabe desperation. Instead I'll start by saying that Fame was a great movie. As a television series, it started out good and went downhill from there. My guess is that this incarnation will pick up where the television show left off and resume the crash to earth at the same velocity Fame left us last time. Why? Because this show is looking for the real "triple-threat": someone who can sing, dance and has … star power. Um, last time I checked, a triple-threat was someone who could sing, dance and act. I guess acting isn't important anymore. Of course, Fame does have Debbie Allen. I have to give her credit. I haven't seen someone milk a franchise so dry since the Brady kids. Here's a thought: Debbie dear, please concentrate more on your third threat and let Fame rest in peace.
American Juniors - Fox
Speaking of obnoxious. A talent show featuring singing kids. NBC already went this route earlier in the season with America's Most Talented Kid. I tried to watch it, but all I heard were fingernails being scraped down a blackboard. And then I went temporarily blind and deaf. Of course, someone like me isn't the target audience for a show like this. The target audience members for this show are recruiters for drug rehabilitation centers and therapists because these poor kids' parents are pushing them right into their offices. I'm sure these recruiters and therapists are taking names and putting entries into their datebooks to Google the losers in about 3 years. The winners they'll Google in 4.
Keen Eddie - Fox
This program is about a troubled New York City cop who is dumped by his girlfriend and then botches a drug bust, and then is sent to London as punishment (er, to clean up the mess he made in NYC). Once there, he HAS to share a flat with a beautiful woman all the while trying to fit into Scotland Yard's way of doing things. Yeah, I only wish I had bosses that sent me to England every time I made a mistake. Do bosses like that really exist? Is Fox hiring? Well, of all the new programming this summer, this one seems the most original. Granted, that's not saying much.
The O.C. - Fox
Soap opera about a troubled kid from the wrong side of the tracks that gets sent to live with his rich cousins in Orange County as punishment…wait a minute. Really, is Fox hiring? Because I want to go to work for them and then screw something up really badly. I like the way you all think. Rupert, I'm your man!
Paradise Hotel - Fox
It's a sexy new reality show where YOU (yeah, you) could win a chance to join the fun in the sun with sexy singles. Instead of kicking people off, they're inviting people into the action. The question is, if you're "Mr. Personality," will you be chosen to frolic with the beauties? I guess we'll see.
And I'm getting a little ahead of myself because this next one is actually on the Fall schedule - but I can't resist.
Skin - Fox
Oy. It's a modern-day "Romeo and Juliet," but without the poetry, passion and necessary acting skills. Here's a quote taken directly from Fox's website describing the show. "SKIN is about sex and race. SKIN is about politics. And most of all SKIN is about skin: complexion, beauty, desire, attraction, obsession, and prejudice in contemporary Los Angeles. SKIN is shot through with black comedy, passion, white-collar crime, scandal, naked ambition, and action." You be the judge.
Also returning this summer are new incarnations of Temptation Island and Meet My Folks. Big Brother is also planning on coming back sometime this summer, but no dates have been set yet. However, they are looking for applicants. So, if you think you have a better chance at being on Big Brother than on Paradise Hotel, here's another link so that you can apply: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/bigbrother4/index.shtml.
Lastly, NBC is going to be airing two more elimination talent shows - Last Comic Standing and Second Chance: America's Most Talented Senior. Last Comic Standing has potential. Even if the comics bomb, it can still be funny. America's Most Talented Senior is a talent contest for people aged 50 and older. Americans will be glued to their sets waiting to see if someone accidentally spits out their dentures on national television. Originally, the producers were going to allow competitors aged 35 and older to compete in AMTS, but they got a lot of flak for suggesting being aged 35 is equivalent to being a senior. I mean, they got A LOT of flak, so they upped the age limit of the competition. But why the hell would they think that turning 35 is a sign of old age in the first place? What kind of a world do they live in? Do the NBC guys get to retire at 35 or something? Do they get to live off a healthy pension once they turn 35 and then…hey, are you hiring?