Have you ever lost your favorite sunglasses? Not necessarily your most expensive pair but the ones you really like. The ones that you are so attached to, you wear them everywhere you go and would even put one of those dorky leashes on them so they don't fly off when it's windy. The ones that only cost 15 bucks but you treasure them anyway. The ones that are so unique, no one else can wear them like you do and everyone knows they're yours. Why is it, that although we all know that sunglasses come and go, and they are one of the most commonly lost items that we'll ever own, it still breaks our heart when we lose them? Can you tell how someone will handle a breakup by the way they handle losing their shades?

I lost my sunglasses today.

This time, they weren't just any sunglasses, these puppies had lasted me through 3 boyfriends in the past 4 years. I can't replace them because they don't have a brand name and I bought them in a SoHo shop in Manhattan that no longer carries them. They are unique, I've never seen anyone with the same pair. They've been with me through good and bad times and were always reliable. They allowed me to sneak glances at good looking guys without being obvious, and hid my tears to protect my privacy. When the left arm broke off, rather than tossing them out, I lovingly had them repaired. When I accidentally left them on the counter in restaurants and shops, I drove back miles to get them. I cared about them and in return they shielded my eyes and made me look fabulous. Maybe I will turn around and they will be sitting there next to my house keys in their normal resting spot. Maybe by tonight, someone will call me and tell me that they've been found and to come and pick them up. That would be nice, but I know that I need to give up and let it go. I need to come to grips that I'll never see them again.

It occurred to me as soon as I realized they were gone, that this sense of loss is similar to going through a breakup. Perhaps with less arguments and tears, but it can still ruin your day. When you go through any kind of loss, it has been said that there are 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance/Hope. I went through all of them this afternoon.

Denial

My friend Debra and I went for a walk and ended up at a café several blocks from my apartment for brunch today. I wore my favorite sunglasses there and when I sat down, I casually put them in my jacket pocket and never took them out again. Later on this afternoon, I walked into my apartment and as I put down my keys and took off my jacket, I suddenly realized my sunglasses were missing. The stages of loss began with a sudden feeling of panic and disbelief. I had that "this is my worst nightmare" feeling. Even though it was obvious that my pockets were empty, I kept going through them over and over again, turning them inside out as if I might find my sunglasses hiding behind a piece of lint.

Anger

I called the café and asked if my sunglasses were there, I was positive that is where they must be. The woman who answered the phone claimed that they didn't find them but would call me if they did. Although she was very kind and understanding, my first reaction was to be pissed off at her, at myself, and at the person who I am convinced is now sitting at that table and gloating about finding such a cool pair of sunglasses.

Bargaining

We all know about bargaining. Bargaining is when you are drunk on the bathroom floor hovering over the toilet and telling God that if he can just get you through the night, you promise never to drink again. In this case, I was walking back to the café, backtracking my steps and silently promising my sunglasses that if they come back to me, I promise never to just stick them in my pocket like that ever again. Promising "I'll never take you for granted ever again, I swear. "

Depression

Debra and I walked to the café and back, with no success. I did everything I could, I left my name and number at the shops that I had stopped in and retraced every single step. Debra said, "You've got to let it go." My heart sank as I realized she was right. I had to admit that there was nothing else I could do but give up. Losing my enthusiasm and feeling like I had wasted my time trying to get them back, I decided to just go home alone.

Acceptance and…

My sunglasses were out there somewhere, possibly making someone else as happy as they made me. Whoever is wearing them is probably wondering why someone would have so carelessly left behind such a great pair of sunglasses. Or thanking their lucky stars, that these sunglasses came into their life all of a sudden like that. In a way, I would have rather found my sunglasses in a billion plastic broken bits in the street than on someone else's face. But I have to just accept that no matter where they are, I have to forget about them and move on.

…Hope

Looking back, I have to appreciate the time I had with my sunglasses. Although accessories like these are lost all the time and come in and out of our lives, they outlasted many other pairs I have had before. When I bought them, I had no idea how much I would come to like them as time went on. In the end, although they were inexpensive, the sentimental value was what really mattered. I know it was my fault that I lost them, but I've learned my lesson and will be more careful next time. I hope that I will find another great pair someday. A pair that are even more perfect, more flattering, and stay with me even longer, perhaps a lifetime.

Our favorite sunglasses are like relationships, we know that they might not last forever but we hold onto them for as long as we can.