Interview with Dana Gould

This article presented in partnership with Bandwagon 'Zine.

By: Louis Ferrara

Louis: When did you first meet yourself?

Gould: I first met myself in the early 80's, but I was very New Wave at the time and was spending most of my time trying to look bored.

Louis: Are chaps necessary when riding a horse?

Gould: Many people will be surprised to learn that a new use for chaps has been discovered that has nothing to do with gay parades. That's right! Local equestrians have started wearing them while riding horses! However, it is recommended one wear jeans under the chaps at the time. Another new development. Hooray chaps!

Louis: Define comedy.

Gould: Tragedy plus your choice of vegetable.

Louis: Where is the "Old West"?

Gould: In England. Everything here is the new version.

Louis: Do you have to believe you are funny for it to work?

Gould: By "it" I assume you mean my penis. If so, what's so funny?

Louis: What would you name your horse?

Gould: I have a horse. Her name is Sarah Jessica Parker and she's quite successful.

Louis: Is your comic personality always on?

Gould: I assume by "comic personality" you mean my penis. If so, of course not. I'm Catholic.

Louis: Is there anything else you wanted to do with your life?

Gould: I never expected I'd pay for parking so often.

Louis: Where do you find balance?

Gould: Two words: moon bounce.

Louis: Tell me a story from the road.

Gould: Being on the road is a great way to learn how to become an alcoholic, a cocaine addict, and/or an anti-social hermit. I never took up either of the former, but I did become something of the latter. Especially when one is a comedian, as opposed to being in a band. You're just alone all the time, and when you're touring for three or four weeks straight, it's really easy to forget what it's like just to talk to people one-to-one. I can talk to six hundred people effortlessly, but I still have to fight awkwardness in one-to-one conversations.

Another good story is I once went to bed with two women and still managed to not get laid. True.

Louis: What's on the horizon?

Gould: A big, frightening spaceship.