About Batman

The office of President has yet to be held by a woman, a minority, or a super hero. But one man aims to right the most important of those wrongs. The name of that man? Batman.

With his no nonsense, kick ass approach and hyper nationalist foreign policy- he has rallied wide support within his country and instilled immobilizing fear outside of it. For domestic policy he promises to slash taxes and brutalize criminals. Running ahead of every other candidate in the polls, he is the man to watch, or fear, or both.

Vitals

Race: Caucasian
Age: 35
Height: 6'4"
Political Party: Republican Party

Positive Rating: 80%
- Asian: 82%
- Black: 66%
- Caucasian: 85%
- Hispanic: 68%
- Men: 92%
- Women: 68%
- Under 30: 84%
- 30 to 50: 80%
- Over 50: 79%

Top Five Donors:
- Wayne Foundation ($76,320,000)
- Clark Kent ($1,000)

Endorsements:
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Gotham Police
- Jesse Ventura
- Attorney General Janet Reno

Scandals:
- Various romantic affairs with evil women.
- Various romantic affairs with married women
- Allegedly responsible for the accidental killings of dozens of criminals.

Interview with Dana Gould

This article presented in partnership with Bandwagon 'Zine.

By: Louis Ferrara

Louis: When did you first meet yourself?

Gould: I first met myself in the early 80's, but I was very New Wave at the time and was spending most of my time trying to look bored.

Louis: Are chaps necessary when riding a horse?

Gould: Many people will be surprised to learn that a new use for chaps has been discovered that has nothing to do with gay parades. That's right! Local equestrians have started wearing them while riding horses! However, it is recommended one wear jeans under the chaps at the time. Another new development. Hooray chaps!