A friend recently came to me for relationship advice. I personally don't find myself world weary enough to be a good dispenser of this sort of thing. But I have a tendency to make broad, sweeping, and strong statements, which probably makes me an attractive source.

So this friend of mine came in need of advice. The problem involved an impasse with a woman he was interested in. This woman was not aware of his affections, but their little disagreement nevertheless troubled him greatly. The details of his little story aren't important. The interesting part came as I listened to him drone on about this woman and how he should handle this very trifling situation.

It occurred to me, that he had no future with this person he hardly knew. His situation and problem resonated with me, but only in the sense that it mirrored many of the "romantic crises," I've experienced and seen. There were only two destinations for this particular road of his. One, maybe he'd be lucky enough to score, and milk the relationship for some sex. Or two, crash and burn.

Now, I'm happy for my friends when they are able to trick gullible women into having sex with them, but it's not a dire concern of mine. And talking my ear off for advice on that quest is a waste of my time. If however, the talking my ear off is in the name of the big L word, the quest for true love- then I'm here to offer what help I can. Yes, as cynical as I come off, I still believe in true love.

In short, I wanted to end the conversation and I wanted to do it in that overly dramatic and poetic way I prefer to end them. You see, sometimes when I'm high, I imagine that I'm really a fictional character in a film. And when people walk out of the theater I want them reciting my catchy, vague platitudes as if they were the word of God.

So I said to him, "Why are we wasting time on this? When it's all said and done do you know who you'll end up with? Jane. You go through this emotional adventure and in the end Jane is still there, you fall in love with her, and that's it. You always end up with Jane."

Who is Jane? Well Jane, was a coworker friend of his, a woman I knew he was not interested in. They were pretty friendly in that, 'we work together' sort of way. But I wasn't referring to that particular Jane. I was referring to the Jane's of the world. I was referring to a type of person. No, not a personality type, or a physical type