Nobody likes to move. Not Richard Pryor, and definitely none of us. It's bad enough having to pack your own shit and move every few years, but to add salt to the ever-gaping wound, all of your loser friends always call you to help them move too. Here are our 5 best perks to sucking it up and sweating it out. 

5. His Sexy Wife

You're sweaty, she's giddy, and there's tons of comraderie in the room. Just because she's married to your friend and you find each other insanely attractive, that doesn't mean you're going to sleep together. It doesn't even mean you want to. It just means when you're hoisting that hamper full of her draws and she smiles at you because she knows what you're thinking, there's an unspoken connection there.

It pushes you onward, it makes the heavy lifting easier, it makes the celebratory beer taste that much better. 

4. Free Pizza
Say what you will in front of company, deep down you know there is no better food than pizza. And it's the perfect pick-me-up after a long, sweat-drenched Saturday of carrying your buddy's shit. Dammit, aren't we grown-ups? Can't you hire someone? No, well, ok, but at least there's pizza. And when it arrives after a hard day's work for no pay, it will be delicious no matter how bad you hate large chains. 

3. His Slutty Sister

She's just starting to bloom, and she's starved for the male attention her daddy never gave. Be ready for daisy dukes, halter tops with no bras, ridiculously trashy make-up, and possible sweating. She will be bending over from every angle for you to see all the goods. Sneak as many stares as you want, your friend will be busy carrying TVs. Unfortunately, this is also strictly for fantasy, unless you're a total sleazeball.

2. You’re in Need of a Kidney

There’s no better way to pucker up a good friend before dropping a bombshell of a question. You’re in desperate need of a new organ and you’re going to stretch the boundaries of your friendship and cash in the unwritten law of the return favor.
Chances are you’ll probably walk out with nothing more than a beer in your hand and a slab of pizza in your gob, but it's still worth a shot.

1. Customary Beer

We are Men. Men rule the world. Men are awesome. We like to work hard, with our hands, and earn our keep. We like to build shit and grunt a lot. And we drink beer. All the time. Especially wehn we are being Men, building shit and grunting. We don't fucking play around.

As little as you want to help your idiot friend move, all your stresses flow away with reverberating grunts and the avalanche of beer sweat as you drink your Man fuel like a viking.