Princess Toadstool, Donkey Kong & Super Mario Bros.

The Queen of video game babes, Princess Toadstool spent her early career being abducted by obnoxious beasts and then being rescued by a pair of plumbers, but later on expanded to take part in the rescuing adventures as well as taking on tennis (well before Anna Kournikova), piloting, car racing, and a great many other feats. It's arguable that the Princess did a better job of raising a whole generation of men than their own mothers, addicting them to video games forever. Perhaps the main draw of Princess Toadstool is that certain mystique that's led so many young boys to sin, by imagining the hot body under the conservative pink dress. Many may well be disappointed that this position isn't taken by Ms. Pac-Man, with her interesting proportions and lusty mouth, but she was merely a Womyn's-lib Pac-Man in drag. Others may mention Princess Zelda, but she was really only the underdeveloped kid sister Skipper to Princess Toadstool's Barbie. An enlightened minority may even argue for Samus, the green-haired, missile flinging, space bounty hunter of Metroid fame, but her arrival was simply too late to prevent the domination of Princess Toadstool.

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First off, in a tribute to the companies involved here, I'd like to send a farewell to SNK, creators of Mai Shiranui, who have sadly closed their doors to gaming. Next, you're obliged to visit CAPCOM, Nintendo, Tecmo, Squaresoft and Namco (where you can buy arcade machines). Finally, because Tecmo needs more respect, and because you can't get any respect from drunk college chicks if you can't dominate your dorm at Tecmo Bowl, the Tecmo Super Bowl Record Book.

When you're done with racking up several hundred yards with Warren Moon, you need Dead or Alive 2 wallpaper for your desktop. If that wasn't enough for you, here's a site with a couple more wallpaper selections. (I'm currently running the Tina Armstrong in a camo-bikini with a gun.)

Next, you need to see this webpage. Though the pictures of this Sean O'Connell character's father with stormtroopers are fascinating, most important is the bottom left picture: Sean with Mai Shiranui. Which is an important segue (as opposed to a Segway) into...

Cosplay. If you have no clue what cosplay is, then here's your chance to figure it out... Basically, it's anime fetish gone horribly wrong, much like women who dress like Klingons (On a tangent, here's Psalm 23 translated into Klingon. Help translate Shakespeare to Klingon). I'm not complaining, check this out. More women in catsuits. Yet more More Felicia. People in giant panda suits and Tifa Lockheart. Don't forget to check out more Mai Shiranui.

No doubt you're already searching Yahoo! for more. Unfortunately, I've yet to find a Princess Toadstool, but if you have any good finds (of any video game character), make sure to drop it in our Electronic Gaming Forum here at Chaser.

Finally, what better than to buy your girlfriend some Greek battle dress?

Related on Chaser

Alec has his article on the Art of Gaming... Jesse features the Top 7 Gaming Platforms... And on the note of the riced-out Segway, we have Kyle's review of riceboypage.com.